A Resolution

My friend Jenny said a few weeks ago that we need resolutions. I've been a bit busy, as you can imagine, so I haven't thought much about it. But I think I have it.

I resolve to be all about me from time to time. I shall call it the resolution of self-centeredness. Since I was a kid, I've felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've found great joy lately in the people who are just there - those ones who don't need things from me. The wife thinks I let myself get walked on a bit. Not by you folks, but by the folks who I don't like enough to give this blog address to. :)

I am capable of saying no - I've gotten better at that over the years. I just haven't mastered the art of not feeling guilty about it, though. And if I'm going to feel guilty about saying no, I guess it would have been just about the same as saying yes. I think it expends the same amount of energy, usually.

So I'm going to resolve that it is ok to just be about me sometimes. It is ok to ignore the world and take a bubble bath. Most of all, it is ok that I'm not spending 8 hours up at the hospital every day with my Mom. That's the one that is giving me the most guilt right now - and I just have to stop that. I go up there every day for a few hours. That is enough. She is living her life, unfortunately right now dealing with the consequences of some really bad decisions. So I'm going to live mine.

So, I'm going to a movie with the wife today. I'm going to a friend's little girl's birthday party. I'll go see Mom, but after my "me time". And after a delay, we will start trying for this baby again. This is my life, and nobody is going to live it for me but me. Guilt...go away!!