Home...

I'm travelling again this week - it has been a while since I've been away from home. So, sitting in my swanky room at the W, I'm thinking of home.

Home for me has never been 4 walls and a roof. I've moved 6 times in the last 10 years...I'm not attached to a structure by any means. So, thinking outside the "box", so to speak, these are the things I think of when I think of home:

Hanging out with my friends. I have been tremendously lucky in friendship. The realtor who sold my parents our house when we moved from NY to SC became my second mom, and her kids are my adopted siblings (and their kids my adopted nieces). The same girlfriends who heard all of my adolescent dramas are still the ones who I run to to share my grown-up dramas (only now, we bring wine...so much better). And my roomate from college and her husband came back here, and live about a mile away (though we only seem to see each other every six months...but we swear that we'll get that down to every 3 months by retirement). Those friendships cover the last 25 years of my life...and I always feel like I'm at home when I'm around any of them.

My morning coffee (I soooo miss my coffee when I'm out of town). I have been a coffee fan since college, but the wife made me love it (and her) a little more when she made my coffee with a little bit of chocolate syrup and cool whip on top. Maybe not great for the waistline, but still the way I drink it every morning, thinking of the the unexpected things that made me fall in love with her.

Finally, the gnome that sits outside our front door. We bought him at the Renaissance Festival when we were first dating. He has sat by the front door in our last three homes, waiting for us to come home. We've always said - "Home is where the gnome is" - and I smile every time I see him:

A little disappointment, a whole lotta hope...

Well, this month was not our month. I'm a little disappointed, but pretty used to it by now. If it weren't so expensive, I'd be fine...but it's only money, and totally worth it.

If you haven't seen this story, this gives us lots of hope (and our fertility clinic was where it happened...yay! We have talented folks!):

NC couple welcomes child, uses 22-year-old sperm

Am I too analytical?

OK...so we were watching the nephews on Friday, and the two year old has a major Backyardigans addiction. Unfortunately, we only had one episode on the DVR (we quickly set up some more to tape so we don't run into this next time), so we had to watch that one episode about 4 times. For those parents subjected to the Backyardigans on a regular basis, it was the Luau brothers episode...and after the second run-through of the show, I actually caught onto the plot (ok, plot may be a loose term). And I was disturbed.

So, the Backyardigans boys, Tyrone, Pablo and Austin are the Luau Brothers - spouting Hawaiian words here and there and wearing tropical swim trunks. Their Luau is interrupted by the Volcano Sisters, who are angry and are threatening to erupt the volcano. They tell the Luau brothers that we want something, and if they don't get what they want, they'll erupt the volcano. And, of course, they won't tell the boys what it is that they want. The boys have to guess, and if they get it wrong, the volcano will blow.

So at this point, I'm quite disturbed by the gender stereotypes. Girls, being demanding and threatening destruction if their demands are not met? I get the feeling that one of the writers had a fight with his wife right before writing this episode. She must have wanted something, and he had no idea what it was, and so she blew up at him for not being more understanding of her needs. Or something along those lines.

When expressing my concern about the gender themes in cartoons today, the wife pointed out two things...first, the boy is 2, and only gets the bright colors and catchy tunes. And second, I need to stop being so analytical...it's just a cartoon. Maybe...but I can see myself in a few years saying "honey - you know this is pretend, right? Girls in real life are nice, they explain what they want, and they dont' threaten to blow things up." Poor kids are going to grow up all nutty like me.


PS - the Volcano sisters ended up wanting an invitation to the Luau. Just like a woman to complain about being left home alone while the boys go out and party. ;-)

Another FAQ

We've gotten new questions lately, now that we've entered into a new phase of this process, so I figured it was time for anther FAQ. So here we go:

1. "So...what the heck is going on now?"

I've been speaking in code, only because I'm mostly talking about my own body and I'm much too shy to give details. So let's just talk about this scientifically, and try your best not to think of me specifically, ok? ;-)

Before, at home, we were doing ICI - Intra-Cervical Insemination. This terminology is about both the sperm, and what you do with it. The sperm sample is very similar to the way it would be in nature - because naturally there is a protective goo along with the sperm to help protect them on their journey. As for use, this is a sample prepared for placement just like the good old fashioned method of conception...outside the cervix. Doing it the good old fashioned way means that the little guys have to make it through the cervix, then up to the uterus, then find their way up the fallopian tubes to the egg.

Right now, we are doing IUI - Intra-Uterine Insemination. The sperm for this type of insemination are prepared differently, removing the goo that is specifically there to get the swimmers through the cervix part. This part requires the Doc, because with this method, the doctor uses a catheter (read: long tube attached to the end of a syringe), and puts the sample all the way up into the uterus. This way, the little swimmers only have to figure out where they are, then go right into the fallopian tubes off the uterus to find the egg. Much less distance to travel, and less roadblocks in the way.

There is a really amazing slide show we found regarding conception, detailing how we go from swimmer and egg to a new person. It is just awe-inspiring how this whole process works: http://www.webmd.com/baby/slideshow-conception

2. "Does going to the fertility clinic mean you have to take hormones...and you might end up with 6 kids?"

HECK NO!!! The wife is saying already that if we ever end pregnant with three or more, she's picking out the cutest two and giving the rest away. :-)

Seriously, they have tested me thoroughly, and feel that I'm producing enough hormones naturally, and that my ovulation is happening as it should, so I don't need a boost. The doctor believes that our troubles up to now have been with the swimmers. The sample you get is only a portion of the donor's "contribution" - about a fourth, actually. And on top of that, it is frozen for at least 6 months (a quarantine period required by the FDA so that any diseases that the donor may have contracted around the time of the donation are caught). So you have fewer swimmers (a measly 15 million), and they are kind of lazy from sitting in a freezer.

If we continue to have issues, we'll look into the drugs, but we're hoping it doesn't go that far.

3. This one is an older one... "With two moms, what is the kid going to call you both?"

Yeah...good question. We're not really all that sure at the moment. I'm thinking, since the wife is a southern gal and still calls her mom "Mama", then she can have that one and I'll take "Mommy". Of course, that means that the kid will saying her name long before mine. But I think we'll both be happy unless the first word the kid comes out with is "Dada". That'll be rather awkward.

Well, that's it for today. Happy Easter everybody!!

Things you never thought about...

15 Million swimmers...1 egg. Ain't nature grand?

I've always said that one woman could do the work of 5 guys. I guess that's a common theme...

Taking deep, cleansing breaths...

So, while the wife may swat me for this one, I feel compelled to share. Tomorrow we go in to the fertility clinic for our next try...you thought the last few were clinical...this one is actually in a clinic. But, this time we have an expert on our side...she's created more babies than a...ok...inappropriate comment ensuing...I'll stop there. We are both positively giddy...we feel good about it. And for those who tell me not to get my hopes up, our thought is that at the very least we feel like we can feel less guilty this time if it doesn't work...we have the expert doing the work.

I was looking back at some of the old posts today...I can't believe that this blog has been going for 10 months. We started out in the research phase, then the "let's screw up my brain with 'safe for baby' epilepsy meds" stage, then the "shopping for dad...we shall call him the marinade" phase, and most recently the "we're trying but don't know what the hell we're doing" stage. Now I suppose we're at the "OK Regis, I think I'll phone a friend" stage (OK...she's not really a friend. But it isn't quite as funny when you say "OK Regis, I'll think I'll phone a Reproductive Endocrinologist"...wait...maybe it is...). It has been quite the trip.

Anyways, veering back onto the main topic from over there on memory lane, I've gotten all my tests done, and all systems are a go. Nothing appears to be broken, damaged or otherwise non-functional. Of course, most days I'm not broken, damaged or non-functional, but sometimes I still don't feel like getting up and going to work. But I'm hoping that since one component only has to show up, and the other component has been chilling in a freezer for a few months, that they'll both feel that tomorrow is their day to shine. And, to keep with my tendency for a bad analogy, the doc can escort the marinade to the table and sit him down, while we could only drop him off at the corner and hoped he found his way. Now, all they have to do is hit it off! I've never been so excited about a blind date!

Wish us luck!!