"We're not barren! We're reproductively challenged!"

I love Sex and the City...

We were watching Sex and the City reruns this weekend. Specifically, we were watching the episodes where Charlotte and Trey are trying to have a baby. In a heated conversation between them, Charlotte corrects Trey's assessment of the situation with the quote above..."We're not barren! We're reproductively challenged!"...I've had that in my head all weekend.

Your favorite reproductively challenged lesbians went in for another insemination yesterday. No rest for the wicked. This time, we held off an extra day to see if we could get a bit closer to the actual ovulation. (segue into the science of reproduction) So, your progesterone elevates to induce ovulation. You are in your "ovulation window" if your level is anywhere between 1-3. Once you ovulate, the level goes back down. On Monday, I was at 1.2. Turns out that I was around this level the last two tries. They wanted to wait an extra day to see if I would go up further (meaning closer to ovulation), or if I would go down (meaning it already happened). Well, on Tuesday I was a 2.9. I felt like I passed a big midterm or something. They were very excited...we got all excited too. :)

So we feel like it was timed better this time...we did the procedure closer to when the egg is actually showing up to the party. It is kind of nice when trying to be hopeful that something different happened this time. Something changed...surely it'll work this time!

I have to say - as much as we are frustrated by this process, there are lots of folks in the same, or a similar boat. The fertility clinic is busy all the time. On days we go up at 7am for lab work, the lab waiting room is packed - 10 or 12 people waiting all the time. One or two were in for first trimester blood work - they were the happy ones. I overheard one woman give her birthdate to the lab tech - she is 44 years old. As hard as this process is now, she's going to be 62 when that kid gets out of high school. She is a brave soul indeed.

So here's happy thoughts going out to all the reproductively challenged folks...I hope there's a happy ending out there for all of us.

A new Outlook...

Howdy folks. Well, in the last few days, the wife has adopted an interesting new outlook on this baby thing. We are both rather frustrated that it hasn't happened yet, we figured having the docs on our side would seal the deal. Well, next week we are in for try #6 (3rd shot for the docs), and we are looking to the future.

So, the wife asks me if I think I need hormones. I don't think so...they tell me every time that my levels are right (when I have to go uptown at 7am on the day of insemination to get blood drawn...that's just mean). However, there are drugs that they can give you to cause more than one egg to drop. This is where you get into a gray area...better chances of the swimmers finding "an" egg...but also the chance that the swimmers will find all of them. I reply no, I don't think we need hormones, I certainly don't want to have quadruplets on our hands. Turns out this was the lead-in so she can introduce her new outlook.

So, if you'll remember correctly, the wife has stated numerous times that in the case of multiples, she'll pick the cutest two and give the rest away. However, now that there appears to be a potential opening in the "holy crap that's a big family" tv genre, she has decided we have an upside. She is calling it "J & K plus 8". I don't know that I'm a fan.

She figures that it'll be the same chaotic, "whole buncha kids screaming" show, but with the "lesbian mom" twist. Bravo will love it - they sorely miss Queer Eye for the Straight Guy...we're just the thing to rocket them back up to the top of the highly sought-after 30-something gay demographic (that .3% of the population is quite a catch!).

I guess that this new outlook is a step up from the plan of giving away babies, but I'm fairly certain my preference is still going to be to only have one. She sat on the couch last night listing off the benefits of the "+8" with a TV show. Free tummy tuck, $75,000 an episode, a $1.2 mil house, free hair plugs, free vacations, ... what? ... hair plugs? Who around here needs hair plugs?

The wife says "we don't turn down free stuff". Now I know she's lost her mind...

Suzy Homemaker...

I've started doing more of the cooking lately. I've never been much of a cook. I remember my grandmother getting all excited when I knew what a whisk was. She tried to teach me, and my mom tried to teach me, but I would always get bogged down in their habit of "a dash of this, a pinch of that" methods. My brain is way more scientific than that...give me a darn measurement people! They never could.

So I've discovered allrecipes.com. I love that place. Lots of good recipes, a great rating system so that you know that other folks made it without screwing it up, and it actually tasted pretty good. The wife is a fan of foodnetwork.com. Way too fancy (and complicated) for me.

Anyways, here are three great things I made this week:

Oatmeal Cookies: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Soft-Oatmeal-Cookies/Detail.aspx

• These were scrumptious. The nephew gobbled one down in 5 seconds flat. We added raisins too. (I'm totally not admitting that I ate these for breakfast, justifying it by equating them to the box of Quaker Oatmeal on the shelf in the pantry)

Baked Paprika-Parmesan Chicken: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Baked-Paprika-Parmesan-Chicken/Detail.aspx

• Also yummy, and pretty easy to make. Bakes in oven, comes out tender and juicy with good flavor. We use the Sargento shredded cheese Italian mix instead of just Parmesan. Yummy!

(in the oven now) Banana Bread: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/The-Best-Banana-Bread/Detail.aspx

• We had some sad looking bananas this morning, so we gave this a whirl. It smells pretty darn good.

Well, the wife is nagging at me to start my chores (we are putting up some decor in the backyard, and I have to mount the outside speakers). So it is off to work I go. So much for Saturday! Happy weekend!

PS - Try #2 with the Doc (that was try #5 overall) didn't work, just to keep you guys up to date. Our mantra this weekend is "Third time's a charm". :-)

Test Run...

So, the wife and I took the day off today to run errands, and generally be lazy. It just so happens that my 4 month old nephew also decided today was the day to have diarrhea, so he couldn't go to daycare. You can see where this is going.

So, test run on parenting today. The good news is that the wife had to get up early for the arrival of the boy, and I slept through the first yucky diaper. I got up in time to feed him, then we got ourselves together and headed out the door.

Well, the kid is an angel. Two whimpers for a dirty diaper, three for an empty stomach. Easy, easy, easy. We went to the mall, to Ikea, and back home for the farmer's market with no issue whatsoever.

So...the question is...does this day prove that we are at least partially prepared for parenting an infant? Or is this the universe just showing us how easy it could be, but then giving us the hell child? I think I'm betting on the second. I never get out that easy.

Week in review

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. I haven't felt clever at all. Not in the least. And I feel you all deserve clever and witty. So I did it for you, really. I hope you appreciate it. :-)

So, this was our week:

• Saturday we went in for another insemination. I was surprised that they are open on a Saturday, but I guess you can't schedule ovulation. A different doctor did the procedure - you get whoever is on call - and it was more painful. I laid on the couch being pitiful for the rest of the day. I actually laid around for most of Sunday too. The wife was a peach, getting me lemonade and letting me pick the movies. It was nice.


• Tuesday I took the day off and the wife and I went shopping. We both needed new clothes for the summer, and since she has Tuesdays off, we figured avoiding mall crowds was a good plan. Lots of great clearance deals...that made me happy.


• Tuesday evening we went to the Farmer's Market out behind the house and bought fresh groceries. They just started this up in our neighborhood, and I picked up some tomatoes, broccoli, and 2 steaks (straight from a beef farm, grass fed cows...unbelievable yummy).


• Thursday, the wife got Lobster tails on sale at the Teeter, and we had a surf & turf with our steaks from the market, our lobster, and the fresh broccoli. It was the best meal we've had in a long time, and we would have paid $90 for that easily at a restaurant. I did miss being able to send my dish away and not worry about cleaning up, though.

So, that was our exciting week. We are more laid back about the waiting this time around...it'll be a little over a week now before we know anything. We're staying positive, and hoping for the best. And I am, per the usual, claiming possible pregnancy to get out of household chores. I figure by the time there is a real pregnancy, I'll feel too sick to really enjoy sitting on my rear watching the wife do the housework. And that would be really unfortunate. :-)

Happy Friday Foks!!